I can't sleep. My mother's in there knocked out, but I can't sleep at all. I'm so terrified. Today's the day of my surgery.
What am I afraid of, you might ask. Well, let's go down the list. I'm afraid of so many things. I've never been cut into before, so I'm afraid of infection. I'm afraid that the sterility won't be on point and I'll get some horrible staph infection, or that I'll catch some ridiculous communicable disease. Ahhh but those are the little worries. My big, huge, unrelenting worry is that when I'm put under, I won't be put ALL the way under. That I'll be under enough for me to be paralyzed, but not enough for me not to feel the entire surgery. I'm afraid of that, and that I'll have nightmares about hearing the drill and feeling them cut me open and setting my bones for the rest of my life. I'm TERRIFIED.
TERRIFIED. And then I have another final in 4 days. Great.