Sunday, August 23, 2009

Okay - haven't been here in a while. LOTS has happened since I last posted.

Wow, okay - the last time I posted, I had the first surgery, but not the second. Well, I went home from the surgery and hobbled, it sucked, I was on crutches, walkers, in wheelchairs, more suckage. It just sucked, sucked, sucked for about 6 weeks. Then I got the cast off. And that was GREAT!!! RIGHT??? Umm... kinda. I had the cast off, and was sitting in Olive Garden with what felt like some weird appendange hanging from my right leg. I was used to sitting a certain way to account for the cast, I was used to hopping, and not putting ANY weight on the foot. And now that the cast was off it was a) hard to break those habits, but b) I was ready to try to get back to normal. However, my surgeon informed me that since I had "the Pin," even though the cast was off, I was not able to put ALL my weight on the ankle, lest I break the pin and cause complications. AND the pin was necessary because my ligaments weren't healed yet. SIGH!!! In the Olive Garden on the way home, I cried and pouted like a 5 year old.

But things got better. Even in the Olive Garden parking lot, where I FORCED a sneaker onto my purple and swollen foot, yes, there was pain, but I was so mad, I didn't care. When I was sitting in the car with TWO shoes on, that psychological victory was pretty big and cheered me up. I hadn't had a shoe on in 8 weeks!

I was still on crutches/walker, because my foot was not ready for anything serious and because I couldn't put my full weight on it yet. But! A walker when you have two feet on the ground is WAY easier to manage than when you're hopping on one foot, so it really wasn't THAT bad. I did exercises, put the thing (it just didn't feel like my foot!) down on the floor, and made sure that I didn't baby it too much. It was hard at first, I was so used to it being protected by a big hard cast, that it felt scarily vulnerable when I came home. But, as someone informed me, it would get better and better everyday. And it did.

I had a trip to Atlanta/Miami/San Diego that began July 28 - but according to the calendar, I was supposed to be in surgery getting the pin out on the 31st. That wasn't going to work. So, three weeks after the cast was removed, I asked my doctor if he could take the pin out a week early. He said YES and actually took it out TWO WEEKS early! The irony of this was that when I broke my ankle on the 23rd of April, I waited two weeks for my surgery, so I always felt like those two weeks were wasted time and that I was two weeks behind in my recovery from where I would have (should have) been if they would have rushed me in to do emergency surgery on my ankle (inotherwords, if I would have had insurance). So when he did the surgery two weeks early, I felt like I got my two weeks back!!!! Woohoo!

This was perfect! It gave me two weeks of walking to get my ankle up to snuff and for the wound to heal, so I could wade in the pool, and get myself together for my trip. I wasn't a walking machine or anything, walking was laborious and a bit exhausting, but I think I did great in Atlanta and Miami (I didn't do a lot of walking in San Diego)!!!

Well now, it's been about 5 weeks since the pin has come out and my ankle is getting better EVERY day. It's amazing to see the things that I can do now that I couldn't do 2 weeks ago. It just gets better every day.

As for 5" heels... I'm getting there. I wear heels periodically around the house to condition my ankle, but there's something about the flexion that I need to do to take a step with the right foot, that I'm unable to do yet. I can stand in them, I can walk sideways in them, but it's the flexion that I need in order to take a forward step that I'm unable to do fluidly yet. But I'm practicing and working on it, and I'm thinking that in no time, I'll be back in heels!!!

So it's pretty much over. The ordeal is pretty much done. God has blessed me in a myriad of ways and given me a better perspective on what I should be focused on and I'm listening. Everytime I'm able to walk up and down the stairs, or walk through the mall, or get up from a kneeling position, or whatever... all things I could NOT do just months ago, I am grateful.

So don't take your ankles for granted. Walking is the greatest thing ever. When you get up to go into the kitchen, it seems like the smallest thing and not a whole lot to be thankful for, but when you don't have to reach for crutches, a walker, get in a wheeling office chair, or hop, in order to do it... it's a beautiful thing.

Aaaahhh, I think my catharsis is complete.